The Tweet that Made Me See the True Nature of Comparison

As-salamu alaikum,

In tonight’s video (https://youtu.be/HbdVaXAI9qk), I told you about the high school senior who had accomplished everything but still felt like she wasn’t enough.

This is what happened next.

I pulled up my own Instagram. Scrolled to a post from a few years ago—me at a medical meeting, smiling, holding an award for Residency Instructor of the Year.

Caption: “Alhamdulillah for this honor. Grateful to serve the next generation.”

Looked great, right? Professional. Put-together. Successful.

Then I told her what that day was actually like:

I had just found out that one of my patients had died—someone I’d been treating for over a year. He was the loveliest brother, and ended up in the ER several times a month with CHF exacerbations.

I kept trying to get him to follow his medical regimen, but he just wouldn’t, but we all loved him anyway as he was just the nicest person ever. I got the news from his wife an hour before the photo. We were all devastated. I smiled for the camera, accepted the award, and cried in the hallway after.

Nobody saw that part. They only saw the highlight. And guess what? This story is not an outlier.

Back in 2018, Tracy Clayton, host of the BuzzFeed podcast, Another Round, tweeted a challenge to her followers: “im curious. if youre comfortable doing so, post a picture of you that you shared on social media where you were actually having a really tough time in life even tho you look perfectly fine in the picture.”

She got almost three thousand responses! They shared posts about the sad reality behind seemingly cheerful vacation pics, glamor selfies, smiling family photos, and on and on. Happy-looking couples confessed to arguing mere seconds before their happy looking snaps, and others revealed the mental health challenges they were hiding behind their smiles.

And that’s what comparison does. It makes you compete with an illusion.

Why Comparison is Actually Shirk

Here’s what I’ve been reflecting on since filming tonight’s episode:

The scholars say that comparison—when it becomes consuming—is actually a form of spiritual shirk.

Not shirk in the sense of associating others with Allah. But shirk in the sense of questioning Allah’s wisdom.

When you say, “Why did she get that and not me?”—you’re essentially saying, “Allah, You made a mistake. I was the one who should have gotten that.”

When you say, “I wish I had his life instead of mine”—you're saying, “Allah, You don’t know what’s best for me.”

I know that sounds heavy. But it’s also true.

Comparison is doubting Allah’s plan.

Here’s the deal, though: Allah’s plan for you is perfect—even when it doesn’t look like what you wanted.

The Prophet Yusuf ﷺ was thrown in a well, sold into slavery, falsely accused, imprisoned for years.

If he had Instagram, people would’ve felt sorry for him. “Poor Yusuf. His life is falling apart. His brothers have it so much better.” And undoubtedly, there would also be plenty of trolls commenting that, “He probably deserved it.”

But we know how the story ends. Allah was elevating him the entire time. The “setbacks” were actually setups.

You don’t know what Allah is doing with your life.

The thing you think is a loss? Might be protection. The thing you’re jealous of? Might be a test for them. The thing you think you need? Might be exactly what would ruin you. Remember Allah’s eternal words:

وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌۭ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَهُوَ شَرٌّۭ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

“It may be that you dislike something which is actually good for you, or you like something which is actually bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know.” [2:216]

The Deeper Lesson:

The Hadith About the Man Who Wanted Another’s Blessing

Umar ibn Al-Khattab reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

لَا تُفْتَحُ الدُّنْيَا عَلَى أَحَدٍ إِلَّا أَلْقَى اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ بَيْنَهُمْ الْعَدَاوَةَ وَالْبَغْضَاءَ إِلَى يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ وَأَنَا أُشْفِقُ مِنْ ذَلِكَ

“The world is not opened for anyone, except that Allah the Exalted will cast enmity and hatred between them, and I feel pity on them for it.” (Aḥmad: Sahih)

And in relation to this hadith, Ibn Rajab reported:

ولما فتحت كنوز كسرى على عمر بن الخطاب رضي الله عنه بكى فقال إن هذا لم يفتح على قوم قط إلا جعل الله بأسهم بينهم

When the treasures of Khosrau were opened for Umar ibn Al-Khattab, he wept and he said: “Truly, the likes of this were never given to people, except that Allah made it a cause of discord between them. (Kashf al-Kurbah)

That is a very profound reflection that we rarely consider. The Prophet is telling us that no one who “gets” things easily in this life really has it good. It looks that way from the outside, but it’s quite different on the inside, so much so that the Prophet ﷺ actually felt pity for them.

You don’t know what people are carrying.

The girl with the perfect Instagram feed? She might be battling depression. The guy who’s memorizing the Quran? He might be struggling with a secret addiction. The family that looks so put-together? They might be one argument away from falling apart. These aren’t assumptions—these are things that I actually see on a regular basis.

Stop competing with illusions. Start being grateful for what’s real.

The Practical Tool (Email-Exclusive):

TONIGHT’S JOURNALING PROMPT:

Part 1: The Comparison Audit

List 3 people you compare yourself to most often.

For each person, write:

Part 2: Reframe the Narrative

For each comparison, ask:

Part 3: The Gratitude Reset

Write down 10 blessings Allah has given you that you’ve been taking for granted because you were too busy looking at what others have.

Examples:

Read this list every morning for the next week before you open social media.

The Resource List (Email-Exclusive):

IF YOU WANT TO GO EVEN DEEPER:

📖 Read: “The Happiest People on Earth” - Research on gratitude vs. comparison

🎧 Listen: “Envy and Gratitude in Islam” by Mufti Menk (YouTube)

🧠 Reflect: Surah al-Hujuraat ayah 13 says taqwa is the only measure that matters. What would change if you measured your day by “Did I grow in taqwa?” instead of “Did I do better than others?”

📝 Advanced: Research the concept of “hasad” (destructive envy) vs. “ghibtah” (positive envy) in Islamic psychology. How do you turn jealousy into motivation?

The Personal Sign-Off:

Tomorrow insha Allah, we’re talking about names—why Allah chose specific names for prophets, and what your name says about your purpose.

Until then: Stop measuring your Chapter 3 against someone else’s Chapter 20. You’re on your own timeline, and that’s exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Dr. Ali

P.S. - Hit reply and tell me: What’s one blessing you’ve been taking for granted because you were too focused on what you don’t have?

I’ll start: I spent so long wishing I was more charismatic that I forgot to be grateful that I’m a good listener, alhamdulillah. Turns out, that’s what my patients needed most.